


Lets Twist Again

by PogoGogoMojoJojo (Give_me_socks)



Series: Herb & Dot tie the knot [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Binge Drinking, Canon Compliant, Dancing, Implied/Referenced Sex, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Post-Canon, Silly, Soft Diego Hargreeves, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_me_socks/pseuds/PogoGogoMojoJojo
Summary: In between ridiculous antics and making new friends at the wedding, Klaus is shocked by a realisation about Diego & Lila
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves & Lila Pitts, Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, Klaus Hargreeves & Original Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves & Other(s), Klaus Hargreeves/Original Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves/Other(s)
Series: Herb & Dot tie the knot [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909042
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Lets Twist Again

Klaus led his partner over to the dance floor in an unnecessarily theatrical manner, presenting Mandy like a debutante at a ball. A little pink flushed to her ears as a few of the guests looked at her, but overall she seemed to like the attention and matched Klaus with a dramatic curtsy. Her bend was impressively low and well controlled, her frame belied the grace in her movements.

None of the exaggerated grandeur had drawn Diego’s eyes though. They were locked on Lila’s face as he led her in soft turns to the band’s rendition of James’ Laid. Klaus wondered exactly how much hell he would have to raise to pull those puppy dog eyes away. Never mind, having his usually hyper-alert brother distracted made for better eavesdropping. Pulling Mandy scandalously close he used his hips to maneuver her into position, thrusting her along in time to the music until they were close enough to hear but not in Diego’s direct eye-line.

“You remember our first dance?” Diego growled softly

“Of course. You abandoned me to go flirt with your mother, then got your arse handed to you by those Swedish guys”

“Honey, please, I took out two of those chumps! Without any help from your traitorous ass, I might add”

Lila blinked; her expression would have been scornful if not for the brightness of her eyes, the light dancing in them betraying her teasing. “You know, most people would be more defensive about the whole hitting-on their Mom thing”

“Well, I guess I’m not most people”

They fell into an easy silence for a few bars, enjoying the light touch between their bodies as they moved.

“What were you going to say?” Lila whispered into his neck. Leaning back she pouted at him “I promise not to interrupt and confuse your little brain this time”

Diego kept silent just long enough to be sure she meant it, that she was waiting on his answer, and chuckled.

“I was gonna say, that dance was crazy hot. That’s when I knew you wanted me, for real”

“The shag the night before didn’t give it away?!”

“People have sex for lots of reasons” Diego said shaking his head. In the middle of his snooping, Klaus was struck by the sincerity in his brother’s tone as he answered, he was surprised he had thought about that complex reality.

Then Diego dropped his voice even lower, murmuring into Lila’s ear so that Klaus could only make out odd words from the heavy rumble. “But they only …like… when they … and can’t…”

The redacted version of the statement was filled with a heat that made Klaus’s stomach flip: He could only imagine the impact the whole dirty mouthful had on Lila. The tension was instant. Her breathing became audible and she leaned up on her tiptoes to press her lips to Diego’s ear.

“Oh yeah?” She smiled wickedly,

Klaus was so desperate to hear the next act in this erotic exchange that he became even more reckless than usual. Still writhing with Mandy he backed closer and closer to the action.

“Do you know what I could feel while we were dancing Hargreeves?”  
  


Klaus shuffled in further.  
  


“When I span you into my hold and my fingers brushed your…”

“Hello Klaus!”

Dammit. Too close.   
  


Klaus tossed his head back over his shoulder. Bending so his eye-line was beneath Diego’s glare, he batted his eyelashes at his unimpressed brother.

“Oh! Hi Di, didn’t see you there. Lila! You look terrific, you minx!”

“You too Klaws”

Klaus’ body followed his head round in a spin which made him look remarkably birdlike.

“Have you met Mandy?” Klaus asked innocently as he produced his human prop from behind himself. He really did owe her a drink. At least. “She works on the switchboard.”

“Nice to meet you” Diego said, making it clear with his movements and smile that his brevity was founded in annoyance at his brother, not rudeness. Lila gave her a kiss on each cheek which Mandy returned warmly as he fixed Klaus in a gaze of steel.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh you know, just shaking what my mama gave me” Klaus performed a delicate shoulder shimmy to illustrate.

Diego didn’t look like he believed him, so Klaus did what he normally did under pressure. He continued talking.

“You know I find it ghastly sitting in a corner, so I found myself a beautiful partner and decided to liven up this fiesta! Nothing thrilling has happened all afternoon. I’m torn between a line of coke and a topless conga at the moment, if I’m being honest, but I’m open to suggestions”

“You know, I was enjoying myself just fine” Diego said, pointedly.

“Well, simple things, as they say”

Lila laughed out loud as exasperation filled every corner of Diego’s face.   
  


“You know what would be fun?” Klaus asked, deliberately addressing the question to the women to avoid any sharp retorts from his brother. He did a pop-and-lock, instilling the move with a sensuality it didn’t usually express, and grabbed Mandy’s waist shouting “Dance off!”  
  


Lila scoffed

“Oh, don’t think you can stand the heat?” Klaus jibed

“Please, it would be embarrassing _for you_ ”

Diego pulled lightly on her elbow “Don’t get drawn into his bullshit”   
  


“Yeah but, babe, we could obviously take them” Lila turned to her partner, her eyes blazing. She was a competitor above all other things, and her blood was up at the mention of a challenge.

“Yeah, but the energy and dignity it would take is not worth it”   
  


Klaus began making a quiet clucking noise. He knew it was childish, but he wanted to get Diego to forget that he was trying to spy on him. He didn’t really get embarrassed, but the slight discomfort he had at being found out was the closest to shame he was capable of and he was eager to get himself on level footing again.

Lila took Diego’s left hand between hers. They looked startlingly small closed around his strong fingers.

“Please” she asked, but in truth it was more of a command. As Diego grunted his assent, Klaus couldn’t shake the feeling that he had already agreed to her silently, intimately, before the request had passed her lips.

* * *

A few minutes later Klaus had to admit he may have taken his own dominance in this particular field for granted. He knew Diego could dance, but he never danced in front of people and Klaus had assumed he would be playing it cool for the audience. He’d forgotten that Number Two was, as he frequently liked to remind them, “A legend” around commission. With a supportive audience his unhealthy performative masculinity was nowhere near as paralysing as Klaus had expected. Lila had been an unknown quantity, but she was lithe and shameless and bought both qualities to bear. They were attracting quite a crowd.

Lila pulled Diego’s tie out from his vest and ran it through her fingers. Then with no warning she spun and dropped low to the ground, her body weight pulling the knot tight. A partner with poorer balance might have tipped over with the momentum, Diego simply laughed. Lila brought herself back up to standing slowly, pushing her bum and thighs out behind her, her fingers climbing up the tie she’d nearly ruined.

Tucking himself back in Diego invited a young boy from the crowd to the center of the circle. Everyone around them had stated doing that awful thing where they shift their weight from one foot to the other and clap. Klaus cringed. And since when were children at the commission? Was he someones son? Could agents have families? Maybe he was like Five?

Klaus leaned down and raised his eyebrows at Mandy, whose expression of amused confusion had been almost constant since she’d been brought into this madness.

  
“Do you trust me?”

“Depends, with what?” She asked “I trust you not to hurt me, I wouldn’t trust you not to steal my earrings”

  
“Harsh, but fair. Do you trust me not to drop you?”

  
There was a beat of hesitation. “I think so”

  
“Good, don’t think too hard” Klaus said, picking Mandy up and spinning her a complete three-sixty head over heels from the waist before putting her gently down.

The guests roared. As the song rose into a crescendo he cradled his hand under Mandy’s neck and quickly enough that it looked like he might not have full control dropped her to just a few inches above the floor, then lowered her gently the remainder of the distance. He got back to his feet in time for the big finish. Ensuring as many eyes as possible were on him he leapt into the air, and stuck his spaghetti limbs out artistically for a perfectly timed death-drop.

Applause filled the air. He was pulled to his feet by several people, to his left Mandy was also helped up, then pressed by colleagues who were clearly seeing her in a new light. He gave her a supportive squeeze.   
  
Klaus looked around and saw that his brother had taken advantage of the distracting finale to step back from the crowd and once again circle his arms around Lila. When Diego looked up Klaus shook his head and mouthed “shame on you”. Diego winked. Dammit he was infuriating.

At least the party had livened up. Klaus had timed this perfectly and recruiting from the entire history of humanity meant the suddenly buzzing dancefloor was filled with styles spanning more than a century of movement. If he kept the booze flowing, he could keep this bubbling along until something boiled over.

The band shifted effortlessly out of 90s grunge and started up a doo-wop tune; the make-up of the dancers similarly began to a more 60s heavy crowd. Perfect time to grab that open but nearly full bottle of bubbly he’d been eyeing. He decided the mood had relaxed to the point that sitting on the tables was fine and hopped up. Chugging from the source was probably ok too, he thought, and wrapped his lips around the neck. As he picked up a flute to pour Mandy a glass she rolled her eyes at him, snatched the bottle and took a deep swing. Klaus patted his hand on his chest and looked at her in adoration. His stuck out his lower lip so it trembled.

“I think I love you”

“Yeah, yeah, sure” She smiled, settling down next to him.

Surveying the now bustling dance floor Klaus swayed slightly as a song that he seems to remember being by The Sensations originally swirls around the room and reverberates to the rafters. Across the room Vanya was bobbing up and down, clearly itching to join in but not wanting to curtail the conversation with Muriel that was somehow still going on. Five had found a dimly lit corner to lean on a wall.

Diego and Lila were absorbed in each other again. Not paying attention to anyone around her, Lila lifted her hand to Diego’s chin and roughly manoeuvred his head so he was face to face with her, noses nearly touching. As she let her fingers drift down his neck she sang the lyrics into his face with intense focus, as though she had written them as a ballad about him. That was odd actually, Klaus noted, since the song had a fairly unambiguous and not all that romantic message.

“Open up” The band leader crooned, and Lila along with him “I want to come in again, I thought you were my friend”

Keeping her hand on Diego’s chest she walked in a tight circle, until she was directly behind him, her fingers twisting in his belt loops. She put her free hand to his cheek again and jerked it to the side so that Diego was able to see her face as long as he strained his eyes to the right. There was a sting in the speed at which shed grabbed him, the movement almost like a slap. Diego exhaled, his chest visibly deflating even under his three-piece suit.

“Lemme in”

The backing singers provided an echo “Let me in!”

“Open up” There was a wicked gleam in Lila’s eyes as the band repeated her words a second time “Open up”

“Why don’t you open up that door?”

Klaus almost chocked on his champagne.

“Oh my GOD!” He gasped as a bit of his latest mouthful dribbled onto his chin and he tried to swallow his coughing fit.

“What’s up?” Mandy asked, trying not to laugh at his discomfort.

“Oh. My. God” Klaus repeated, his eyes wide. The rest of his body frozen on the table, he stared dumbfounded as Lila stood on her tiptoes to put her face as close to her dance partner as possible and whisper,

“I want to come again”

The trance Diego seemed to have been in lifted. As though a rubber band holding him back had suddenly snapped, he grabbed Lila’s hand and pulled her behind him. Moving as quickly as he could without breaking into a trot, he pulled her away from the dance floor, through the bay windows and into the dark of the garden beyond. Lila smirked the whole way.

“Klaus?” Mandy had bent sideways to come into his field of vision. Her amused confusion underlined with a fraction of concern.

“Sorry, just processing” The concern lifted slightly as she waited for Klaus to finish whatever thought he was stuck on. Many disconnected images were suddenly running through Klaus’ mind. It was a jump, he had to admit that, but he was strangely certain. He mouthed his next statement a few times before managing to say it out loud.

“She pegs him”

“Excuse me?”

Klaus just laughed, which he had to admit probably didn’t make him seem more sane. He grabbed Mandy’s hand. “Oh, this is brilliant”

Klaus ran full pelt to where numbers One, Three and Seven were _still_ having what cannot have been _that_ interesting a conversation with Muriel. They broke off as he arrived.

“We need to talk” He was breathless, but that has to be emotion related, surely, he wasn’t that unfit. “Family meeting, this is big!”

He looked around the room trying to find Five. He still hadn’t moved from his leaning spot. Noticing Klaus and his wild expression he seemed to take a moment to prepare himself, then blinked over to the group.

Luther folded his arms across his implausibly broad chest. “Okay, what have you done”

“Not me, its Diego! Family meeting, upstairs!”

He turned before anyone could ask him more questions. Mandy smiled apologetically at Muriel and followed him.

“So. Who thinks this is going to be about something stupid?” Alison asked

“Oh, that’s almost a certainty” Five agreed. “Shall we?”

He gestured ahead of him to the main doors. The girls and Luther fell into a line and followed Klaus’ steps. Once the whole Hargreeves clan was on route, Five jumped to the top of the staircase to wait for them.


End file.
